Still hoping to have Dwarf-Land out by the end of spring, assuming I’m not tapped on the shoulder by the omnipresent specter of the cheese finally sliding all the way off my cracker; still taking a break to mess with my AD&D side project and run a PBP game with it, which kicks off next Sunday. The city setting is very slowly taking on an amorphous shape, and I’ve wrapped in some of my old Wilderlands material so that stuff doesn’t go completely to waste.
(If it winds up being enough fun to memorialize, I’ll probably type it up as an “OD&D + supplements” .pdf or something for anyone who wants to take a look at it. As always, it’ll be free, because now apparently a load-bearing part of my BRAND IDENTITY is hating the very concept of money and believing no one anywhere should get to have any, ever. You can’t, like, own a dungeon, man.)
So anyway, that’s what’s up. I’ll probably post some shit from the AD&D game occasionally, such as the following “local news” I’ve been dribbing and drabbing to the PBP group. You may ruefully note my lack of respect for the inherent solemnity of the proper exercise of the craft; I cannot even plead ignorance, for I know better.
This year’s Treason Amnesty Day has come and gone, with several dozen citizens reportedly confessing to high crimes and misdemeanors, from speaking ill of the High Dingus, to membership in the outlawed cult of Grbdnf the Micturator, to mopery. By tradition, these contrite individuals were pardoned of all misdeeds, then whisked away to some private precinct of the Palace to live out the rest of their lives in ease and comfort, never again to be troubled by cares of the outside world.
The cult of the bird-goddess Tyaa has been outlawed, its clergy exiled or borne off to the flensery, and its assets and holdings escheated to the City. Lay adherents and initiates have been given the option to take the Rite at a new temple or suffer the same fate as the clergy. This edict of disenfranchisement reportedly stems from a shocking and inexcusable incident at the unveiling of a newly completed statue of the High Dingus.
The Tlalocian Boys’ Choir performance scheduled for this Frogday has been canceled due to unseasonably dry weather.
A failed experiment has resulted in the infestation of the Fuliginous Tower and immediately surrounding area with Kudzu of Tindalos. Residents of the Weird Quarter are advised to avoid corners and angular objects until further notice.
Reports that the Ministry of Mercy has turned out the most psychotic dregs of its dungeons and oubliettes to terrorize the Underworld are utterly without merit, notwithstanding the contentions of certain members of the Guild of Honest Laborers (colloquially mischaracterized as the Thieves’ Guild). The Guildmaster Plenipotentiary has issued a statement dispelling this scurrilous rumor in no uncertain terms, attributing its spread to misinformed elements within the Guild who have since been privately admonished.
The Grinkies, an extended family of hobbit butchers and bakers, have absconded into the Underworld after a grisly discovery in one of their shops evolved into a gruesome scandal possibly implicating the entire clan. Authorities suspect the wurst.
The perfidy of the wicked Realm of Pnab has vigorously sodomized any notion of peace between that wretched cesspool and the Great City of Faz, the glittering jewel in civilization’s crown. Accordingly, the most recent treaty into which Faz was inveigled is null and void, being the product of bad faith on the part of deviant perverts. To safeguard the City’s bosom against the dagger of insurgency, the High Dingus has ordered a preemptive massacre of Pnabite settlers near the border.
Thieves and other miscreants who travel through the upper levels of Underfaz claim that the outsized Underworld cockroaches have started to display disturbing signs of intelligence and cooperation, along with a heightened level of aggression.
Rumor has it that the Uttermost Wizard of the Fuliginous Tower has cloned himself, transmogrified the clone with a girdle of feminity, and will wed himself in extravagant nuptials to be officially announced forthwith.
Due to a recent shortage of qualified idiots in the subject villages surrounding Faz, magic-users convicted of any crime are to be feebleminded and parceled out as part of an official idiot distribution program.